Jesus can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim on land.
Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Wally is hiding.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.